It's important to recognize that individuals with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder have a very good or even excellent prognosis. Most people not only get better but they remain healthier and happier for the rest of their lives.
However if you're someone who would like to stay miserable for decades, here are some tips for staying stuck as long as possible.
1. Invalidate yourself.
You can engage in invalidation by calling yourself names, telling yourself that you can't do something, imagining that you'll never get what you want, and by thinking that life will never improve. If you find that you're having neutral or even positive thoughts, firmly decide that recovery is for other people and that an evidence-based treatment such as dialectical behavior therapy is imperfect and just won't work for you.
2. Stay in bed.
If you're tempted to get out of bed at a reasonable time, imagine all the things that may happen if you leave your home. Tell friends that you are too sad or suicidal to get together with them. Tell your family members that you know nothing will ever change and that you'll always be a failure. Keep thinking that you can really only rely on the illusion of friendship you may get from Netflix and gaming from the safety of your bedroom.
3. Don't go to treatment.
You might think that treatment or therapy might help but just consider how imperfect therapists and treatment programs are. At some point, they are going to ask you to make a commitment to making tiny changes or they might even suggest that you work towards accepting yourself just the way you are. You already know that it's going to be challenging. Isn't it easier just to stay in bed?
4. Ignore your physical health.
Tell yourself that a poor diet, no regular sleep schedule, or a lack of exercise doesn't make any difference in how you feel emotionally. I mean, you're an adult. Why not eat whatever you want and sleep whenever you want? Exercise may just wear you out. If someone tells you that you might feel better if you go for a walk, ignore them and tell them that they don't understand what depression is like.
5. Be dismissive (or downright mean) to the people who care about you the most.
If someone tells you that they love you, scoff at or ridicule them. If someone tells you that they care, believe that there is something wrong with them. When other people want to hang out with you, never say yes because it will only encourage them to ask again. Remind yourself that if you keep burning your bridges, people really will leave you alone. Thankfully, being alone will reinforce your feelings of loneliness and make them even stronger. This will give you even more to complain about.
Staying stuck is a choice that you don't have to make. Today you can do something different.
Ready to take steps to try something different? Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.